Know Thyself

"A person must first learn to know himself before learning anything else." --Søren Kierkegaard

What do I honestly know about myself? Do I know anything? Is there anything at the core? Know thyself, I want it tattooed on my body, but what does it mean to me? Do I really want to know myself? I have more questions than answers. Do i have any answer? I'm scared to even think that I do. I'm scared of being wrong. At the desk where I am sitting, if you look up, there is a mirror right in front of me. If Narcissus fell in love with himself through his reflection can I find a way into myself through reflection?

Where am I right now. Right now I have nothing I believe in, I have ideals with no meaning, I justify through manipulation and seduction. People are objects to me, I keep them around for entertainment and gratification.

This is my new blog because this is my new life. On March 16th of this year, I came very close to killing myself. In 3 months I've been in and out of jail, and then a treatment facility the rest of the time. I just recently got out of treatment. Now I have to pick up the peices and see whats left. This is my attempt to change without changing. To keep alive the good things I have and finally let go of all of the bad. Maybe I fail. And if I do I was meant to fail, nothing more, nothing less. Mostly this is to document my mind, a way to share without sharing.